You can't pause the world

I have been thinking a lot about time and how it seems like there is never enough of it, especially lately.  Then after watching Josh's video at World's Stongest Librarian - I realized that time is one of my excuses.
Yes, I owe myself some "me" time to recharge, but often I waste time that I could be using productively.
So I am making lists of things I want to do, need to do and have to do.
Setting boundaries is on that list and I am making great strides, I think, in setting those -especially for people who want my time or my help.  Some things cannot be avoided, like taking my grandmother to the ER because my father was to drunk to take his own mother there. Do I resent him for it? Yeah. Can I change it? Nope. I would have helped her regardless, so I am trying to let go of that. By the same token, should I go the the family thanksgiving, just because it's 'expected"?  I have decided no-why should I when those people, with exception of my dear grandmother are not peopl who keep in contact with me or care about me throught the year and I will not waste another year's holidays trying to hold together the frayed ends of our family.
Sorry this is nor a more uplifting post, but my message is: stop wishing the world would stop and you could get off, because it doesn't happen that way and there are people out there who would be glad to have my problems versus their own. I am learning and evolving and I hate that my poor blog has taken the brunt of it -but until my mom is settled, I just have to realize my plate is full right now. My time will come and then I will let my creative self shine through to warm others on a blustery day and create a community where we can all just be ourselves.

Domain name, revisions and an apology

Ok - first thanks to ALL of you who gave me feedback on a domain name- I ended up withthe top 3:
StefySpeaksOut, velvetsteel and crossroads.  I ran them through some registration sites and since I really wanted a .com, I ended up choosing: http://www.stefyspeaksout.com/. Don't go there yet. I am in a state of revision. I have learned so much and I want my new site to be professional, easy to navigate and of course reflect my "message"(see below).  I am working on the theme and layout now. Between that and school and partly my mom's health, I have been a poor blogger lately.
For this I apologize. But I have a vision for my site to come back better and then I shall promise to devote the time it and you, so richly deserve.
Stefyspeaksout is going to be about knowledge. I believe knowledge is power! It enables us in so many ways. School, life experience, books, blogs, it is all fodder for us to be all that we CAN be, the potential of each one of us is unlimited and so TOGETHER we can reach our potential!

So please try to be patient as I work to provide a better venue to share myself and my thoughts in an effort to create a community where we can all enable ourselves to be our best. Or on the days when your best is out of reach, just be...there is always tommorow, and with life, there is hope.

Interruption for t-shirt creation

I Love t-shirts and I like to create, so after Josh's post on the Airport nail bending: I created a t-shirt in his honor. If you want one, follow the link, I put it on Zazzle -you can make anything there!
More on the creation of my soon to be update blog later-I did get a domain name: "StefySpeaksOut" - many thanks to all of you who gave me such awesome feedback. I hope to get my new wordpress theme and get it together soon. So many exciting things -look out world...here I come! :)

Poll: Best domain name

Ok - I have gotten some feedback and ideas for domain names. Now I ask you to rate them and see what you like best.  They each have a letter, so you don't have to type the wor or phrase out, just put the letter and then rank it please. (1=it sicks, up to #5, which=you love it).  Here goes:
A.www.StefySayssSo.com
B.www.Crossroads.com
C.www.prisms and shards
                              D.www.Half the battle is believing.com
                              E.www.themanyfacesof stephanie
                              F.www.StefyspeaksOut.com
                              G.www.thelionesswithin.com
                              F.www.velvetsteel.com
So -those are the ones I will try to chose from, realizing that a ".com" may have to be something else if the name is taken. You don't have to "grade" them all if you don't want to.
I like the first one because I am a little bossy, plus it would give the readers the idea that I will blog on a variety of subjects, which I will, as well as creating catagories for in my header.
The many faces of Stephanie is my husband's - because he says he never knows which Stefy is coming home, depending on if it was a good day or not. (lol)
The linoess one -well I am a Leo and I love that photo where the kitty stares into a mirror and sees a lion - proving there is more inside us than we realize.
Velvet steel is an old saying from years ago -a group of women (myself included) were all going to nursing school tohether and we formed a clique named velvet steel -same basic principle as the lioness: women are perceived as softer, but usually contain a solid steel core. It is what gets us thru life's curveballs.
So, please take a moment to think and give me your opinion and grade. I am eagerly awaiting your responses....... Thank you for taking time to share this experienc and this journey with me.
Stefy
   

Confessions of a procrasinator

Ok, I admit it - I procrasinate. Whether it's the dishes, laundry, now schoolwork, the "it" task does not seem to matter. For years I told myself that I work better under pressure, so that was just my particular M.O. -
What a bunch of balony! Going back to school online has taught me that this trait is NOT to my benefit. Last Friday, I took my mom for a procedure at the hospital and while I handwrote my paper, I still had to type it, include citations, etc. and reply to 2 other students' posts, by midnight!
3 guesses as to when I hit send (and the first 2 don't count)...yup-just minutes before midnight.
I am learning though and hopefully I will turn this confession into a congrats when I turn in assignments early.  One day at a time and all that. Sounds good anyway.
Do you procrasinate? With what and do you know why? I know I am not alone out here in last minute land!

Mired in indecision

Ok-I need some help (no comments from those who know me well enough to be smart A**es and tell me you already knew that)! Josh from WSL has inspired me to switch me newbie blog from Blogger to Wordpress. I feel my site needs this upgrade.  The HELP ME part stems from an overabundance of choices: domain name, theme design, too many topics for one single niche...

So - I am asking for help from any who read this post. This decision was reinforced by a comment Heather made on Josh's birthday post, which made me feel like A FOR REAL BLOGGER: She said"I love Stephanie Smith and her blog..." I am humbled by this praise.

I chose my blog title because I am at a crossroads in my life. Working with my father has put me at a point where I dread going to work and now although I am going back to school, a solution is not in the immediate future. As I have learned from blogs like WSL and positively present, any movement or choice will make me feel more in control  and therefore happier. Half the battle is believing was a call to action for myself -to believe that despite past mistakes, I CAN have the future I once dreamt of.

I started writing articles for E-How, then decided blogging would be fun, but I did not really have a niche- like most of you, there are many faces I wear, so how to decide.....Nursing is my passion, but I love to read, ride my Harley, do fundraisers, give people info on pets, since I am a devoted dog owner...I mean, the list is long.

I am thinking of trying to create a site that has catagoties; like: nursing, pets, books, bikers, etc.

That way there is alittle bit of all of me and it will be less random than what I have been doing.

My questions are:1) domain name? At E how I used the nom de plume of Stefyspeak - it's a throwback to catch phrases, words or gestures that my family dubs uniquely "Stefy" - so maybe Stefyspeaksout.com? Mom calls me Nurse Stephie, but it's not all nursing so... I like "half the battle is believing", but it is a little long.  See what I mean? Decisions...decisions!

2.) Template sites versus puchasing a specially designed one -keep in mind HTML is a foreign language I don't speak...YET!

3.) Can I tranfer the posts on this to Word press?

       I am not looking to make big bucks on my blog, I want a community. Josh at World's Strongest Librarian has created that and every time I go there I feel engaged and heard, which inspires me to participate.

The problem with theses changes is that I can't decide- so I call out to you, my friends, my readers - for YOUR thoughts.......I need you, together we can make this a place to come and be ourselves - the good, the bad, the ugly and the funny!

I can't wait to hear what you have to say! Yes- that is me - a story for another time...

Smell it…Fear it:

 Our sense of smell is an automatic memory trigger, more so than almost any other sense.


“People recall smells with a 65% accuracy after a year, while the visual recall of photos sinks to about 50% after only three months.”(Sense of Smell.org)

“Our odor memories frequently have strong emotional qualities and are associated with the good or bad experiences in which they occurred. Olfaction is handled by the same part of the brain (the limbic system) that handles memories and emotions…Very often we cannot put a name to these odors yet they have a strong emotive association even if they cannot be specifically identified.” (http://www.senseofsmell.org/funfacts)

The Smell

It is actually not the antiseptic smell that bothers me (I am a nurse after all…), but rather my sense of a combination that is a bizarre mix of: “bubblegum-ish” flavor in the air from the nitrous, as well as certain unidentifiable dental aromas. Ok, so hard to define. It has improved though…at least now the waiting area doesn’t make me nauseous.

I have an excellent dentist that is very caring and sympathetic to my phobia as well as my extremely sensitive teeth. Nonetheless, once I sit in that chair, my heart pounds, my palms get cold and sweaty and I dread the sound of the drill.

The Fear

My phobia has an origin – well, several in fact. Combine a multitude of uncaring military dentists, with one in particular, who slapped me because I wouldn’t sit still for the second shot to my gums. Yes it was many moons ago and yes my dad almost got kicked out of the Air Force for that one! Nobody hits his little girl. So, here I am at age 37 and yet that smell gets me every time! It has improved, but I was in the chair just 2 days ago for 2 crowns and I was shaking like a leaf!

What smells trigger a fear for you? And if you are wondering why I picked smells that evoke fear, rather than warm fuzzies…well, because : 1) I want you to have to think and the good stuff is always easier to come up with and 2) I really am curious. So please share – maybe we can help each other work through some of them!