Monday, August 3, 2009

Family: Try harder or sever ties?

This post is for feedback - I am tired of struggling - so many things unsaid between me and my father. He is not the man I used to know. Who is this callous man, uncaring of the emotional damage he inflicts, especially on the one person he vowed to never abandon? Being alive doesn't mean he is THERE. Speaking words, does not qualify as TALKING. Why can't he SEE?
Have I tried to talk to him? Of course. Lately - no. Why bother, when he has made it abundantly clear that he will not change, nor compromise, not even when he is breaking my heart, so I will not give him more power by admitting my hurt out loud.
Day by day I am forced to go to work like everything is ok. I know it is not, but I don't think he does. Can't he see the big elephant in the room that we just keep pretending does not exist? I cannot live like this.
Thank God for my husband- he is the one constant - the one I can depend on no matter what.
Mom & I are getting back on track -it's been a long road- but we are learning to trust one another again. I don't see that hope with my father. So sad, I was always Daddy's little girl...
My question is: when is enough enough? How do you sever ties with your blood? Your thoughts on this would be much appreciated.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks to Mike for the email and your uplifting words. It meant alot since you know my father and I so appreciate your words of wisdom. I have chosen to let go and if he ever sees that changes are needed for us to have a good damily relationship, then I will try to open my heart. He just seems to think if we don't talk about it, then there is no problem. I do not chise to life my life with my ears plugged because I don't want to hear anything bad. There is always bad, but I believe we can learn and grow from that and develop more meaningful, true relationships. Until he can admit to the problem, there can be no solution, so I will not waste my energy on something I cannot control. It has taken awile, but I am coming to terms with the fact that we have no relationship beyond work at this point and the blame for that now I place on his shoulders. We shall see what the future holds.